THE European Commission are to ban insurance discrimination against men. Halleuja! However, this raises some questions, like, why not ban the whole thing?

Bar the size of my private parts, insurance brokers want to know just about everything else about me whenever I call up for a quote.

Why do they need to know all these things? So they can discriminate, that’s why. 

Now they will say that they are weighing up risk but that’s just transparent nonsense. If they were only interested in risk they would operate a deposit system. 

Ten grand up front and if you crash you lose it. 

Instead they use the information to target the cost of accidents at the social groups that are most involved in accidents.

This is grossly unfair and must actually transgress every piece of human rights progress achieved since the second world war.

As a maturing 38-year-old my insurance is pretty reasonable. If my 20-year-old neighbour crashes, the costs of his (usually his) crash is targeted at other 20-year-olds, so I’m laughing. 

But is that policy in any way reasonable? How am I less responsible for the accident than all the other 20-year-olds in Ireland?

I’m not – it’s as simple as that. And yet Irish citizens, who are supposed to be equal before the law, are being penalised simply because they are the same age as someone who has had a crash.

Any young man can only drive one car at a time. How they can be held financially responsible for a crash that might have taken place 300 miles away is beyond me.

I’m convinced that this state of affairs is unconstitutional and I wish that all those politicians and organisations that pretend to have the interests of young people at heart would get themselves down to the Supreme Court and sort it out.

But car insurance is a farce anyway. First you pay insurance and then you have to insure your insurance with the ‘no claims bonus’ malarkey. Meanwhile, millions is spent on brokers, phonelines, form-filling and admin.

Would it not be cheaper (and fairer) just to put the cost of claims on to the price of fuel and let the guards sort out the chancers?

The Ould ones – let ‘em mind themselves?

The  bloodyminded rationale for the scandalous treatment of young people over car insurance is usually backed up with the glib “sure they’re having the crashes” remark.

Fair enough so.

Young people do have a propensity for crashing their cars. That’s true. But old people have a propensity for getting sick. That’s also true. 

Yet the Government operate a rule – community rating – which ensures that old people won’t have to pay extra for their health care.

Isn’t that outrageous? Isn’t that blatant discrimination?

It wouldn’t have anything to do with the Oireachtas members reaching the autumn of their lives, would it? Surely not!